Efficient Family-Relationships Help
This link complements: Family-relationships
Family-relationships; a very important topic
We strongly advise you to read the three following introductions before exploring our colored topics: Health, sexuality, Money, Human relations.
1) ◊ Table of Contents For a more detailed table, see our Thematic Index; the navigation bar on your left. 2) ◊◊ This Site’s Objectives 3) ◊◊◊ To the Point! Professional relationships (work, business, undertakings)
Friendships (how to make, develop and keep friendships) Economy, politics, religion (spirituality) 1) Family-relationships (spouses, parents and children)
A) Family relationships (wife and husband) B) Family relationships (parents and children) C) Educational methods. Self-Control or self-esteem? A) Family-relationships (wife and husband)
We say: “Family relations between husband and wife”, but we may also say: “Relations between women and men”. That man and woman being united in marriage or not. Why are family relationships important? Simple. Because it is also key to success and happiness. The importance of family relationships in our life should not be minimized. Our Institute is also your family relationship center. Explore our content and discover practical information on family relationships. Creating new family relationships is possible; we will show you how. It will bring you more victories. This is our best advice on family relationship: read very carefully and apply all useful knowledge we provide you with. This family relationship advice means peace of mind and success for you. "For better or for worse." Family-relationships... a challenge
Relationships and family is vital. Improving family relationships is possible with the help of our useful articles on family relationships. Many couples do not share as before. They do not share their time, privacy, joy and pain, as before in their early relationship. Although they share the same meal, same house, same room, same bed, etc., they do not share the most essential: love and friendship; they do not share daily small pleasures. They do not honor themselves as before (literally and figuratively). They became foreigners once again, and do not share anything anymore. They are living together, but feel alone: solitude of two persons. Alas! But building strong family-relationships is possible. Those couple need family relationship help in order to improve their family relationships; we provide that help here. The reader will be able to establish family relationships in a positive manner. Good family-relationships is not very frequent today. Separation or divorce is constantly increasing; especially in the Western world. We are in 2007. And the statistics say that nearly 20 million people in the United States are currently divorced. Nearly 20 million children in that country live with only one parent, with all the traumas and frustrations that may arise. Healthy family-relationships is needed. At our Health page, read again the Oedipus complex in the section Overcoming feelings of inferiority (complex of inferiority); see: Emotional Health (feelings, emotions, sentiments). It will also help you have good relationships with family. Family-relationships: Separation or divorce Separation or divorce is partly due to the disappearance of moral values and positive family-relationships. History teaches this: any society that allows or causes the disintegration of family values, may disintegrate sooner or later. The Greek Empire and Roman Empire are few examples in this regard. We have taken the United States as an example; but the family situation in many other countries is no better. In fact very few countries could serve as an example in this regard. But it is possible to improve family relationship. Marriage and family-relationships can be harmonized. Yet it is still possible to do something, while there is still time. Family relationship advice and resources is one of the answers. That is why we invite you to explore this web site. Our family relationship services are free. There are lot of family-relationships books, but most of those books about family relationships do not clearly establish a link between: family relationship-health-sexuality-money... Our Institute does so, that is why our method is very efficient. Family-relationships and critical times Critical times hard to deal with are there. They affect relationships with family. Selfishness(egocentricity), greediness (avarice), presumption (to have a too high opinion of oneself), the love of the ego, pride (to be haughty), blasphemy, disobedience (against parents, oneself, knowledge and competent authority), ingratitude, infidelity, wickedness (insensitivity), harshness (headstrong), no forgiveness, defamation (to slander), lack of self-control, cruelty, not lovers of the good, etc, are increasing. These vices oppose to love and happiness, they can make someone miserable. They prevent healthy relationships with family. They are deteriorating family-relationships. These vices devour human relations, generate psychological inhibitions, and prevent success and happiness. But this list is not exhaustive, alas. Strengthening family-relationships Strengthening family-relationships is at hand. At our page: Health, in the section: Health of the soul, we have showed how to get rid of these vices. Avoiding troubled family relationships is possible. Building family-relationships in a positive way is possible if you apply our judicious knowledge. Building better family-relationships is necessary for parents and educators. As we will show it, parents and educators have the duty and responsibility to ensure the stability of the family, by transmitting to children and adults all fundamental values that we have seen; and also all others that we will see. Note this: an educator may be a biological parent, an adoptive parent, a private institution, a public institution (the government), schools, media and others. In short, by educator we mean: all that contribute, in some way or another, to transmit values to children and adults. By values we mean virtues. These virtues contribute to avoid strained family-relationships and dysfunctional family-relationships. Education and family-relationships The quality of child and family-relationships is vital. Love build close family relationship. Teaching Love to children is a priority. Many family and relationship issues can be resolved with Love. Family relationship therapy may be avoided when Love is part of a family. Christian family-relationships are sometime better because of Love. Our qualitative studies on family relationships shows that: a child who grows up in a society that takes care of his education, in a family where the mother and father play their role; a child who learns values such as Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faith (loyalty, trust), Gentleness, Self-control; such a child will be successful and will help other succeed. This kind of being will be happy and will make his fellow creatures happy. Hence the importance of family-relationships and adolescent development. Such a child will be patient, helpful, charitable and loyal. He / she will not be jealous and envious, will not boast, will not swell with pride, will not do something dishonest and indecent, will not only look for his own interest, will not be irritated or assassinate, will not have evil thoughts, will not harm his fellow creatures, will not be delighted by injustice but will welcome the truth, will forgive. Such a child will have self-confidence, will succeed and help others succeed. This kind of being will be happy and will make his fellow creatures happy. Because a true educators would have taken care of Health of the soul of such a child; by providing him real values, noble values, eternal virtues: true education. This helps avoid family relationship problems. See, the quality of family-relationships and parenting success is linked. Good family human relations can also contribute to your wealthiness; see our web page: Money In fact, improving your financial situation may help improve your family human relations. Explore these serious opportunities, they help you earn more money and strengthen your family-relationships: Join this affiliate program and make money Join this Profitable Affiliate Program and Earn money. Maximizing Sales & Repeat Orders, Giving You Generous Profit-Sharing, Treating You like a True Partner; Go at the bottom of the page and click on: Sign Up. Inscrivez-vous à ce programme affilié et gagnez de l’argent. Au bas de la page cliquez sur : Sign Up.Join and Earn money. Inscrivez-vous et gagnez de l’argent. Why Build Just a Web Site? Build a Web Business. Pourquoi juste bâtir un site web. Démarrez votre entreprise sur le web. Build a website that brings you success. Démarrez un site web à succès. Are you stretched for time? Why not let our top specialists build your entire site for you? With our experienced and results-oriented Service, our Specialist literally does it all for you; from keyword research to page-building to traffic generation to monetization implementation! 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Counseling and family-relationships
Family relationship counseling should not be neglected. Psychologists, psychoanalysts, marriage counselors, human relations advisers, media, the educational system, private and public institutions, governments, etc., have to transmit all virtues we have listed above. They can help build better relationship with family. Some people affirm that: media is destroying family-relationships; but from our experience, it is not all media who do so. We should learn to better select what bring us success and happiness. Natural Laws and family-relationships To understand the true nature of women and men, to understand the role of women and men, to understand the laws that govern relations between men and women, to apply these laws in relationships, lead to success and happiness. These laws stabilize relations between women and men; these laws harmonize the body, soul, mind (mental, intelligence), emotions, finances and sexuality. A flourishing sexuality is a very important component of success and happiness in a couple. One of the roles of a man is to guide and ensure the harmony of the family, with authority; a loving authority. Here, authority means: love and competence. Authoritarianism means: hatred and incompetence. One of the roles of a woman is to support and guide man in all points of view. Women and men differ in many respects (structure, shape, emotions, intuition, etc.) But in truth, these differences complement each other in harmony; a harmony based in the laws and principles we have set forth above. Love in a couple, cement the relationship of that couple. To love with unconditional love, magnifies the harmony of a couple. A couple in love passes through trials and tests with ease. And if these trials and tests persist or last long, they do not cool the love of such a couple. Love must not be confused with lust. Unfortunately true Love is undermined by images conveyed by some media (Internet, games, TV shows, indelicate movies and newspapers, etc.) School and the entourage (knowledge, friends, parents, etc.) play also a large role in the quality of human relations and family-relationships. Some confused media confound Love and sexuality. The truth is that Love can be a component of sexuality, and sexuality can be a component of Love; one does not necessarily goes with the other. Love involves two people who built their life together by sharing their projects, hopes, dreams, successes, joy, but also their grieves. Of course, we know that Love can take many other forms: Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jesus Christ, and so on. These people have showed other form of love to their fellow creatures. It was and it is still a unconditional love, in justice and truth; a Love with a capital L. Family-relationships: Man and woman's duties But let’s get back to our sheep. Man and woman have the duty to love each other and not to make their life bitter. The media which sometimes offer false and unrealistic images of women, man, love, couple relationships, etc., do not render service to our civilization. In fact these media, consciously or not, whether intentionally or through ignorance, pervert human relations; because some of these media, for the purposes of the case (shows, profits, etc.), produce distorted images; in so doing they prostitute the true meaning and scope of the couple relationship. Result? The distortion... the dysfunction of the couple and family-relationships. Men and women have the duty to supplement, at any point of view, literally and figuratively. They have the duty and responsibility to study and practice all virtues explained in this site; to learn them and teach them to their children. Man and woman must be an example of self-discipline, discipline, consistency and virtues. It is their duty to go and conquer their bad habits and overcome them: sexual immorality (adultery, fornication, sexual deviations, etc.); to conquer their besetting sins, cigarettes, illicit drugs, alcoholism, etc., in order to strengthen family-relationships. The happiness of a couple must be built continuously. This process can be long and tiring; but the effort will pay in the long run. This process can be facilitated when a couple applies the laws and principles suggested by the Institute of Human Cultivation. Because these proven laws and principles, help overcome hardships that inevitably arise in these difficult times; these tough and decisive times. Family-relationships and communication Communication in a couple is very important. Many misunderstandings are sometimes the result of a miscommunication or a lack of communication (which is the same). Making projects together, sharing thoughts, feelings, emotions, hopes, dreams, successes, joys and sorrows, can help improve communication in a couple. And thereby help improve a couple’s relationship. Communicating means: to listen carefully; but also: to know how to speak with tact. We have treated the art of speaking and listening in our Health page, in the section: Learning to listen, and section: Learning to talk. Some people listen, but they already have their own fix opinion; a ready opinion. So, they listen through their inflexible opinions. Actually, they are not listening at all; because this kind of listening is biased. In the same way, in order to give good advices and exchange useful point of views, someone must first listens carefully. Hurtful or indelicate words are a barrier to good communication and good family-relationships. Download your free ebook: Learn how to write and communicate efficiently The section: Learning to observe, is equally important; because by observing well, it become possible to detect precursor signs and signals. Take note that gestures are also a means of communication. For some people, gestures are the main and best way to communicate a message, sensations, emotions, thoughts, etc. Many relations are deteriorating, because some people do not take time or make effort to listen, talk and observe well. These deteriorating relations may be Family-relationships, parents, children, intimates, friends or professional relations; etc. To create an atmosphere of love, romance and gentle intimacy, in which a couple shares their thoughts, feelings, emotions, joys and sorrows, helps facilitate communication with mutual respect; in peace and harmony. That's a positive communication. Woman and man must show their love, for a better family-relationships. Eye contact is a good way to show love and interest to each other. A good eye contact is a sign of sincerity and love. Physical contact is another form of testimony of love. Women and men need physical contacts to keep a physical, affective and emotional balance. Holding hands, touching, caressing, hugging, kissing, etc., are good forms of physical and emotional contacts. These are some evidences of love. The individual attention that women and men show to each other, is also a testimony of love. Individual attention can be manifested by spending time together, playing together. But individual attention is also manifested with tender words and gestures, jokes, smiles, laughters, appreciations, congratulations, a gift, a thank you, an interest in what the partner is doing; an interest in what the partner lives, and so on. Individual attention should be directed mainly towards moral values and virtuous. The individual attention helps strengthen family-relationships. "Give to receive. Receive to give." The wise man said: "It is more blessed to give than receive."
It is true. We have verified the truthfulness of this law, repeatedly; at any point of view. It all depends on what someone gives. That law is close to the following principle: "People reap what they sow." These essential and eternal truths, can be verified by anyone who has the desire to do so. We at the Institute of Human Cultivation, invite you to apply all virtues we suggest on this site, in order to strengthen family-relationships and more. These are all virtues we invite you to give and sow. To sow in your relationships with your: family, parents, children, intimates, friends, colleagues, etc. We know from experience that anyone who will give them and sow them will win many victories. True success and happiness will smile to him/her. But how will it be possible for someone to give what he/she doesn’t have? That is why we invite you to acquire and cultivate all virtues we suggest in this site. At our page: Health, in the section: The health of the soul, we have showed how to achieve it. We have already talked about the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness can help harmonize a couple relationship and other forms of relationship. At the Health page, in the section : Love, read the important sub-section: Love keeps no record of wrongs. Hatred and rage again someone or something is not good for the health of the body, soul, mind, (mental, intelligence), emotions. It is not good for sexuality, finances and human relations. Let’s not forget that: these hatred and rage do not affect those to whom they are directed. This hatred and rage are often unknown to those to whom they are directed. In the section just mentioned above, Love, we have already shown how to overcome these dangerous poisons: hatred and rage. There is an effort to be made; but it worth the price: good health, success and happiness. Marriage appears as a kind of workshop; a kind of school in the school of life. In this school life educates, instructs and tests the couple. Life teaches a couple how to love, give, share and forgive continuously; unconditionally. It is touching to see through our partner, a chapter or a lesson to study; a chapter or lesson given to us for our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual grow. Then, marriage appears to us as a team, where the partner is a teammate in a team; a companion riding a tandem bicycle or a horse. Seen in this manner things seem more fun, things seem a little bit easier to bear. Don’t they? Whoever will put into practice, all principles we just develop, will have good human relations in his/her couple. The question that arises is: Who wants to grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Who wants to be instructed and educated in the school of life. Who wants to learn how to love, give, share, forgive continuously and unconditionally? Who wants to take the test and pass the grade? But this... is another matter; another pair of sleeves. A poem for a marvelous family-relationships And finally, an amazing poem: "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth, a loving doe, a graceful deer. May her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." (Proverbs 5:18-20). ♥ We are sure that this beautiful poem has pleased and moved you, as it has pleased and moved us. The first time we have read it, we have felt and still continue to feel great jubilation. What a true song in honor of a permanent honeymoon, this poem. This enchanting poem, from the Holy Bible, crowns this section of our conversation. For you ladies, just replace the word wife by husband; and adjust few words to this poem of Love. B) Family-relationships (parents and children)
Many truths that we have set out in the section above: Family relations (wife and husband), can be extended in this section; to intensify and complement it. We have said: family-relationships between parents and children, but could also say: relationships between educators and children. Take note that an educator may be a biological parent, an adoptive parent, a private institution, a public institution (the government), schools, media, etc. In short an educator is everything that contributes, in some way or another, to transmit values to children and even adults. First of all, here is an advice to parents and educators: the character of an individual is also determined by the way that individual associate ideas; because with regard to the formation of a character, associations of ideas and accuracy of the mind are linked. An accurate mind combines ideas according to true meanings and virtues that accompany them. So, monitor the way children and adults associate their ideas. The peace of the body, soul and mind (mental, intelligence), emotions; as the bloom of a sexuality, improvement of finances and good human relations are also related to the associations of ideas. They are mainly related to the associations of ideas made from early childhood. Parents and educators, have the duty and responsibility to monitor the associations of ideas made by children and adults; particularly among children; because their unconscious (subconscious) is more easily impressionable. These associations of ideas implanted in the subconscious determine the mood, character, attitude, health (body, soul and mind), sexuality, interpersonal relations; and thus: success and happiness. Children and adults who receive a good education, a sound education, are rare. And even those who receive such education must face many challenges; difficult challenges. Because the moral and intellectual atmosphere in which they live (school, media, reading, films, games, television, etc.); and the influence of the entourage (friends, parents, etc.), is also crucial. This entourage, sometimes unwittingly or unknowingly, diffuses erroneous ideas; mediocre and dangerous ideas. The moral atmosphere and the influence of friends, also determine success and happiness. It is known that anyone exposed to an atmosphere or environment that promotes theft, lie, banditry, violence, etc., may steal, lie, to become a bandit or violent, and so on; especially when the theft, lie, banditry, violence, etc., are promoted with glamour; when vices are nicely presented as virtues; when lies replaces the truth. Simply put, the atmosphere or environment to which someone is exposed has an influence on the development of his/her character. And this influence is even greater when the exposed person is young or impressionable. Remarks made before children (or with children), as the way someone behave before them (or with them) must be virtuous. Children also learn by imitation. "Do as I say, not as I do", is the wrong approach to educate children. This is not a good example. It does not work. Because children who listen, have the impression that someone is pulling their leg. And they are right. Barry White sang: "Practice What You Preach. Well said! A good example is a source of encouragement. For examples: being on time, being disciplined, being honest, doing all your work, or having a good relationship with children, leads these children to imitate you. This imitation leads them to succeed. And as an educator, that success make you very happy. Moral values that parents and educators forward by their words, actions and attitudes are moral values that children will inherit. A proverb says: "Your actions speak so loud that I can hear what you say." It is true. To teach and educate by example, that is the work of a well-advised educator. To teach and educate children very early (2 or 3 years) is beneficial. Virtues and good habits are easily impressible at that age. In the Health page, of this website, we have already talked about the importance of resolving the Oedipus complex and its equivalent for girls: the Electra complex. Family-relationships and Oedipus complex Oedipus complex. An oracle predicted that Oedipus would kill his father Laïos, King of Thebes, and marry his mother Jocasta. But Oedipus escaped death at his birth. He will be raised by the king of Corinth. A few years later, Oedipus is exiled; he will have an argument with a passenger and kill him, without knowing that the passenger was Laïos his father. At Thebes the Sphinx uses to submit an enigma to people and kill those who couldn’t find it; Oedipus will solve that enigma and get rid of the sphinx. Delivered from this monster, people of Thebes proclaimed him King; Oedipus married Jocasta the queen, but Jocasta is his own mother. The prediction was therefore completed. When Oedipus discovered the awful truth, he pierced his eyes and resumed the path of exile. Freud gave the name of "Oedipus complex" to an erotic attachment that a boy fells for his mother; and to its corollary (the sense of rivalry toward the father). Family-relationships and Elektra Complex Elektra Complex. Elektra loved his father Agamemnon, passionately. When Aegisthus, the lover of his mother, assassinated her father, with the complicity of that mother, Elektra swore to avenge. With the help of his brother Oreste, she killed her mother Clytemnestra; the adulterer and lover usurper. This love without limit for the father, who led the murder of the mother, is what establishes parallel between the fate of Elektra and that of Oedipus. In psychoanalysis the Elektra complex is for a girl, and the Oedipus complex for a boy. Family-relationships and Diana Complex Diana Complex is also linked to girls. Diana, the huntress goddess, symbolized especially among Romans chastity and lunar light. Diana gave her name to a psychoanalysis conduct which is a denial of femininity and sexuality: the Diana complex. Oedipus complex, Elektra Complex, Diana Complex, few examples of family-relationships (human relations, interpersonal relations). That was a brief reminder regarding mythology. See details in: Emotional Health (feelings, emotions, sentiments) Family-relationships and Castration Sentiments of inferiority (complex of inferiority) may origin from castration; a psychological castration. A person psychologically castrated doesn’t fight at his full potential. Shyness or loneliness may impair his life. An individual psychologically castrated is afraid to affirm himself. He has lost the possibilities to assert himself. Or, let’s say that these possibilities have been refouled, repressed in the depths of his subconscious. Psychological castration may origin from an unresolved Oedipus complex. For a girl, the equivalent of the Oedipus complex is: the Electra complex. Therefore, a woman or man may be psychologically castrated, following a wrong education. Read again the section : Overcoming feelings of inferiority (sentiments of inferiority (Emotional health). Someone who did not learn to develop his mental faculties as seen in the section: The development of mental faculties; see: Health of the mind (mental, intellectual), or who did not develop virtues as seen in the web page: Health; see the section: The health of the soul, will hardly fill the delay when it reached adulthood. Poorly equipped for life, such a being will not enjoy success and happiness. Our Thematic Index shows you where to read other sections. "A being without proper education and virtues, is like a tree without roots." Family-relationships: The ultimate goal
The ultimate goal of giving life to a creature is to give virtuous instruction and education to that creature, in order to form a responsible and useful being in every sense of the term. To give life, only for the purpose of reproducing the specie, is an approach that produces dangerous species; dangerous to themselves and dangerous for those around them. Parents and educators should lay the foundations of a rich and happy life; at the very early age of children. One of the aims of a good education is to make children understand the importance of living according to right and true principles. We have suggested some basic principles at our page: Health, in the section: Health of the soul. Those basic principles are: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faith (loyalty, trust), Gentleness, self-control. The child must learn and understand that: obedience to these principles will bring him/her joy, happiness and success. Their obedience will be rewarded, but their disobedience should be punished. Children learn by example; that is why parents and educators must be living examples of what they say to children; living examples of what they think and do before the children. It seems like creation is at a particular stage of our civilization; a very special stage, indeed. The truth is that we are at a crossroads. We live in a world where schools, media, reading, movies, games, television, etc.; as the entourage (friends, parents, etc.), are increasingly saturated by flawed instruction and education. That is why many people who have received good instruction and education, will still deviate from the track. But experience shows that such deviations are less frequent, less dangerous than those of human beings who did not receive good instruction and education. Children must receive unconditional love from those who educate them. In other words, we may hate the behavior of a child without hating the child himself. We can punish a child, but not withdraw our love. To deny a being of our love created anguish, anxiety, guilt and pathological aggression in that being; those are symptoms found in any neurosis. Such a being may grow up without love. Having had no love, he/she will not have love to give; no love to give to himself, his activities, his friends, his marriage or his children. A vicious circle. To punish a child with love gives more meaning and scope to that punishment; and helps harmonize the body, soul and mind (mental, intelligence), emotions, sexuality, human relations of that child. The emotional balance is maintained. The emotional deficiency is avoided. Prior to punish a child with love, someone must explain to that child why he should be punished. And when the punishment is administered, the child must be forgiven. This is how that child learns to forgive; and will forgive in the future. At the page: Health (health of the soul), we have already talked about the importance of forgiveness in the section: Love, specifically in the section: Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love forgives. Educational methods. Self-control or self-esteem? Now let's explore few methods of education and family-relationships. Most of the time, parents and educators give the education they have themselves received. Those who promote self-control method (authoritarian approach), have an authoritarian approach to education. For these people, what they say to children is almost a law and should not be questioned. And any misconduct leads to strict punishment. Experience and observation show that such parents and educators do not show a lot of affection for children. They are also distant from children. Experience and observation show that children educated with this method, are obedient but not always happy. Those who promote the self-esteem method (permissive approach) seem more lenient. Experience and observation show that such parents and educators have little expectation of children. Very available, they tend to conceal their impatience. Their discipline and consistency are sometimes sluggish. Some of them do not feel responsible, regarding the shaping of their children’s future. But such parents communicate and love their children. Experience and observation show that: children educated with this method appear to lack self-control and does not always seem happy. For us, we believe that both methods should be applied; applied with discernment, love and wisdom. Self-control (authoritarian method) or self-esteem (permissive method) must be applied taking into account certain factors: the personality of the child, the child's age (physical and mental age), the intelligence of that Child (intellectual and emotional intelligence), the educational context, culture and nature of the environment, the goal, etc. As you can see, the issue is not as simple as it seems. We believe that both educational methods must be carefully measured to enable the child to develop a harmonious character. A too authoritarian approach could mean: psychological repressions, emotional blockages, a risk of castration (psychological castration), etc. At the health page, review the section: Overcoming feelings of inferiority (complex of inferiority). And the section: What is a refoulement?. But too much permissiveness could lead to a carefree attitude (a happy-go-lucky child), laziness, a lack of self-control, etc. A judicious balance between these two methods is necessary and indispensable. A wise mix must be found. We call this balanced approach: the permissive authority. In this educational approach children are educated with authority and flexibility, while giving them unconditional love. This permissive authority must be consistent and full of loving discipline. It must be constant. Parents and educators consistent in their love and discipline are valuable human beings; well-made heads... A well-made head is better than a head full well... Laws governs Family-relationshipsf In the human, animal, vegetable, mineral and microbial kingdom, everything is governed by laws. In other words, human beings, animals, plants, minerals or microbes have possibilities and limitations. The same is true for atoms, planets, asteroids, stars, galaxies, and so on. Remove these laws and it is chaos. Remove these laws and it is the Big Bang; the explosion of Creation. Loving laws must be thought to children and adults. Family-relationships and Freedom Regarding human beings, the idea of freedom is often distorted. True freedom is in the law; the law and order. Do not confuse the real freedom to libertinism or debauchery. Libertinism or debauchery is an error due to ignorance, due to poor information or misinformation (the result is the same); with libertinism and debauchery, someone end up paying a bitter price. From birth to death, human beings are subject to rules and laws. Many rules and laws that govern success and happiness are contained in this site. Living outside these rules and laws is to be exposed to failure and misfortune. We want to repeat that: "Rules and laws that govern success and happiness, must be known to parents and educators; and taught to children." Family-relationships and Discipline Discipline is not always synonymous with punishment. To discipline means: to correct, train and develop the body, soul and mind (mental, intelligence); to harmonize emotions, sexuality and human relations. To discipline means: to provide a noble and virtuous moral character. Discipline must always be accompanied by encouragements, thanks and rewards. Of course, punishment may be part of a discipline method. Family-relationships and punishement There are different forms of punishment. We do not know the ideal form of punishment. Each form of punishment must adapt to circumstances. But also, as we have already said, it is appropriate to consider the personality of the child, the child's age (physical and mental age), the intelligence of the child (intellectual and emotional intelligence), the educational context, the culture and nature of the environment, the goal, etc. Some children will understand and learn immediately after deprivation: favorite candy and chocolate, favorite TV show, etc. Others will understand and learn after having stood at the corner of the wall. To stand at the corner of the wall is most effective than being sent to a room. For in his room, the child has the opportunity to engage in delightful activities; and who knows, to prepare another good one... However, in order to understand, other children will need a good spanking. For me, I remember having had to copy 100 times what I should do or not do. This kind of punishment, although less painful than spanking, had the advantage of training me to write and count. I call this punitive approach the educational punishment. But I must confess that sometimes I had a fussy encounter with the whip; at home and in school; because at that time, teachers had right to use it. And let me tell you that they did not deny themselves that whip. I do not know if students learn, remember and retain better with the whip...Human relations in the classroom… Children must live in an environment where they know that if they disobey the rules they pay the price. And if they obey the rules, they taste the fruits. It is the law of cause and effect. Indeed, children must learn that every effect has a cause; and every cause has an effect. Wisdom said: "Any correction, it is true, seems at first a matter of sadness, not joy; but later it provides a peaceful fruit of justice to those it has trained." Children or adults who are disciplined, according to the Law and virtues, will be able to discipline other children and adults with those laws and virtues. It is a chain reaction. Disciplined and virtuous beings are the strength and joy of a society. Life is good in such a society. Unfortunately our civilization tends to remove many safeguards (discipline, laws and virtues, moral). Yet it is those safeguards that keep a leash on primary instincts, reptilian impulses and dangerous impulsions; because instincts, impulses and impulsions are not always controllable. Unfortunately, some people do not ask this question to themselves: "What is good? What is wrong?" Family-relationships: Good and evil But other people have their own definition of good and evil, wright and wrong, truth and lie. Most of the time, these people have received these definitions from their parents, educators, and so one... But many of their definitions do not match with virtues; do not match with eternal laws of success and happiness. Result? Many things are increasingly out of control. Is this the decline? Yet, it is possible to do better. That is what we say at the Institute of Human Cultivation. And we do not just say it; we show how to achieve it. Children disciplined with virtues and Law are a source of joy for themselves, for their parents and society. Wisdom said: "Correct your son, and it will give you rest; he will delight your soul." We could also say: "Correct your daughter..." And this same wisdom says: "Fathers, do not irritate your children, lest they become discouraged." We could also say: "Mother..." Children disciplined in virtues and Law are good pupils and future good students. In their adulthood these beings are good employees, good leaders and citizens above any suspicion. These exemplary beings keep their jobs longer. And when a layoff or a reduction of personnel happens, they are retained by the company which thanks them for their good and loyal services. Children disciplined with virtues and Law will found exemplary families; stable and balanced families. Because these children are future good wives, good husbands, good parents and good educators. Children well disciplined and virtuous are emotionally well-balanced; their behavior is rational and appropriate. They enjoy success and happiness. It is a joy to live with such creatures. A real treat! Children want us to show our love. Few tips for a better family-relationships Eye contact, is a good way to show our love and interest to our children. A good eye contact is a sign of sincerity and love. Physical contact, is another form of testimony of love and interest. A baby needs physical contacts in order to be well developed (physically and emotionally). Caresses, kisses, embraces, are good forms of physical contacts. Adolescents also need physical contacts, to ensure their affective and emotional balance. A pat on the shoulder, a hug, an embrace, a walk hand in hand, etc., are good examples of physical contacts that parents and educators can have with children. These are some evidence of love. Individual attention that parents and educators show to their children is also a good testimony of love. Individual attention can be manifested by spending time together or playing together. Individual attention is also manifested by tender words and gestures, jokes, smiles, laughters, gifts, appreciations, congratulations, thanks, interest in what the child is doing, interest in what that child is living, and so on. Individual attention must be directed mainly towards moral values and virtuous. Children who are given such individual attention feel valued and useful. They thrive with great self-confidence; which is very important to their emotional and intellectual development. Showing love to children, allows these children to show love to their fellow creatures. Thus, these children will be healthy. Healthy body, soul, mind (mental, intelligence) and emotions; flourishing sexuality and good interpersonal relations. And in the future, they will be financially free and get out of a difficult situation. They will understand and benefit from the triad: economy-politics-religion (spirituality). Simply put, they will enjoy success and happiness. "Let’s pass the flame." Media and family-relationships
In a world where schools, media, reading, movies, games, television, etc.), as the entourage (friends, parents, etc.), are becoming more saturated by inadequate instruction and education, it is not easy to educate and teach children and adults. Moral values are increasingly ignored. The family foundation is shaken. Marriage and sexuality are deviated. No many people are surprised and disgusted by immorality. In that small number, the world seems to see a rare species, a strange tribe, people behind the time, people out of time. It seems like the world is trying to convince people of this: to transmit values and virtues is a thankless task, an impossible mission, a consolation prize. Yet, we must maintain the flame. The flame is vacillating; the flame that a small number of people try hard to maintain. Yet we must pass the flame; a virtues flame as we have established its bases. In so doing, although our civilization seems to have reached the edge of the abyss, it will not find the strength to jump in it. As other civilizations did: the Egyptian Empire, the Assyrian Empire, the Babylonian Empire, the Medo-Persian Empire, the Greek-Macedonian Empire and the Roman Empire. We are in 2007. The seventh empire, the Anglo-Saxon Empire dominates today. Will it do better? Love and self-respect, love and respect for its fellow creatures, in justice and truth. Here are some virtues that our civilization has to convey, through training and education of children and adults. This noble responsibility devolves on both parents and educators. The educator can be a biological parent, an adoptive parent, a private institution, a public institution (the government), schools, media and others. In short, an educator is everything that contributes in some way or another to transmit values to children and even adults. We know that anyone who will think, speak and act taking into account the laws and principles that we have suggested here, will win many victories. As we have won many victories thanks to these laws and principles. To think, speak and act according to the virtues that we have suggested in the web page : Health; see the section: The health of the soul, is the key to success and happiness. Obviously, each section of our conversation is linked to other sections of this entire site. Remember: everything is interconnected. Keep this in mind while studying and applying, and you will get maximum benefit. Do it for your own good, the good of your family, your friends and the good of our civilization. Family-relationships: laws of cause and effect Success and happiness obey laws: the laws of cause and effect. These laws are precise and implacable, like the law of gravity. Indeed, anyone who jumps from the top of a tower is suddenly drawn down. To ignore or disregard those laws does not change the result. It is wise to discover the laws that govern success and happiness, study them, and apply them in all areas of your life. This is not an option but a noble obligation. This is the noble obligation taught by the Institute of Human Cultivation. Now explore other topics on Human Relations. Explore the nav-bar, or go at the top of this page. Happy family relationships,
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